I received this in an email from my friend and thought because it is Monday, it might brighten your day and make you think. 🙂
Adventures in fire building or as I like to call it “How to use a first aid kit!” I was bored last weekend and looking for something to do, so I had the idea to start a fire using just a flint stone. I’m thinking to myself…I got this, no problem!” They make it look so easy in the videos and I figured how hard could it be? Yea right!
First step: Gather kindling. You know those really small pieces of twigs that catch fire very easily. That is what I needed… Did you know that Ants byte? They hurt too! Anyway, I went back to gathering kindling (much more carefully this time!) After pouring a gallon of gas on an ant bed and setting it on fire while dancing around it yelling “Die you *!@@$*& Ants!”
After overcoming the onslaught of wild Ants, I moved on to collecting larger pieces of wood for my fire…. Did you know that some tree limbs have thorns on them? They hurt too! 30 minutes and a half of a box of Band-Aids latter, I was finely ready to light my fire. It was a master piece! It looked so good that I felt like I should give it a name, I was so proud!
Now to use the flint to start it! I took my knife and began running it down the flint to complete my feat of triumph! No sparks! I tried it again, still no sparks! I tried still again only this time I did it really fast. Knives hurt when you cut yourself! Anyway, a couple of more Band-Aids later and I was back at it! I still was not having any luck getting this *!%$#%$* fire to start.
Then I remember that you need to add something like dryer lint to it to help it get started. I’m still not sure where you would get dryer lint in the woods, but I will have to read up on it. I promptly walked in to the house to get some from my wife’s dryer. It was running, so I opened the door and quickly removed the lint catcher. Did you know the edge of those things will burn you? I didn’t, but I do now!
burn cream and Two Band-Aids latter, I was back at my fire ready to give it another try. Using my knife again (after wiping the blood off of it) I began to try to produce the sparks required to ignite the dryer lint.
Finely after about the fifth try, I hit payday dirt and the lint ignited and began to burn slowly catching the twigs and then larger pieces of wood on fire. I moved them into position to help the fire get going. Did you know that Band-Aids burn? They do! Anyway, a half of an hour later and a half of tube of burn ointment I finely had my fire! Unfortunately my hand hurt too much to enjoy it! I did give my fire a name though… I called it “EVIL”.
Now, what did I learn from all of this? I learned that I need to stock up on a whole lot of Bic Lighters, Band-Aids and burn ointment. In my preps! I also learned to practice things and not just assume that I can do them because I watched a great video. As soon as my hands heal and the hair grows back on my arm, I am going to give it another try. Practice makes perfect as they say. Maybe next time I will bring the First Aid kit with me just in case.
1 thought on “Adventures in fire building”
Now that’s funny!